Top Five Responses to the Sony Hack

“A White House official said on Thursday that the administration was considering a ‘proportional response’ against those who hacked into Sony Pictures computers, a retaliation that could thrust the United States into a direct confrontation with North Korea.”

–Peter Baker, reporting Dec. 18, 2014, in The New York Times

N Korea target

Choosing a proportional response to North Korea’s Sony hack is not as simple as it seems. Unofficial polls show the top five options and their drawbacks:

  1. Hack North Korea’s top movie studio and halt release of forthcoming blockbuster!

Oh yeah, they don’t have that.

  1. Shut down Internet service across North Korea!

Oh yeah, they don’t have that.

  1. Scramble cell phone service across North Korea!

Oh yeah, they don’t have that.

  1. Turn out the lights across North Korea!

Oh yeah, satellite photos show it’s already dark.

  1. “Time for traffic problems in Pyongyang!”

Oh, they already have that. Really?

Bonus Answer:

6. Airdrop millions of Sharpie markers, so residents can draw devil horns on Kim Jung-un posters!

 That’ll show him!

Sony hack response-draw Kim Jong-un devil horns


Frazeology end note


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Eric F. Frazier

Eric F. Frazier is an independent writer, editor, book reviewer and co-author of GPS Declassified: From Smart Bombs to Smartphones.