Constitutional Law Pop Quiz

Constitutional Law 101: The U.S. Constitution does not contain the phrase "overturn."

This message applies only to Constitutional Law 101 students in the United States, Class of 2020-21. If you have received this message but are not part of this group, no action is required. You may simply look on in horror.

Dear Constitutional Law 101 Participant:

As year-end approaches, it has come to our attention that many have not prepared for the January 6 final exam. Accordingly, we must remind you that the counting of electoral votes before a joint session of Congress is a required element of the course. Failure to complete this assignment will preclude your happy participation in the inauguration ceremony scheduled on January 20.

We appreciate the efforts you committed to the primaries, national election, and certifications of state vote totals and electors. Many may believe that their work to date is sufficient to receive a passing grade. Perhaps. But we implore you to consider this: Should a majority of the class skip or flunk the final exam, this course may not be offered again in the future.

We realize that a majority of you did not sign up for this elective back in 2016. When we cancelled the other options (Status Quo Hilarity 911 and Laid-Back Government 420), everyone had to adjust. Further, we appreciate that none of you expected the final year to be taught remotely while a pandemic raged.

We have duly noted your numerous complaints regarding the primary instructor. However, we’d argue that thoroughly demonstrating the widest range of unconstitutional behaviors remains the best way to bring the limits of our aging Constitution into bold relief. (If you agree, consider our course, Negative Spaces in Public Art 000.)

In consideration of the challenges listed above, we are offering the pop quiz below for extra credit. For each correct answer, we will adjust your final grade average by one point. (Please note, however, that your quiz score will depend on who we assign to grade it. Currently, about half of the population believes that the Constitution can mean whatever is favorable to their immediate needs/desires.)

Pop Quiz

Constitutional Law 101, Week 206

Please circle the correct answer

When candidates/supporters have grievances about the conduct or outcome of an election, the Constitution gives them the right to:

  1. Threaten election officials with bodily harm on social media
  2. Lock and load and mass at the building where votes are counted
  3. File a lawsuit in an appropriate court of jurisdiction
  4. All of the above

The Supreme Court of the United States consists of nine judges who:

  1. The president chooses from a Federalist Society list for lifetime terms
  2. Are “totally incompetent and weak”
  3. Wear black robes and ban courtroom cameras to avoid body-shaming
  4. None of the above

The Constitution grants the President:

  1. “Absolute power to do whatever I want”
  2. A maximum of two terms, unless he’s so great he decides to stay for life
  3. The power to pardon himself for crimes he denies committing
  4. None of the above

When serving as president of the Senate, the Constitution grants the Vice President:

  1. Power to preside over the count of state electors certified by their governors
  2. An opportunity to prove his faithful devotion to Dear Leader
  3. A no-win situation to embarrass himself publicly
  4. All of the above

As a matter of simple arithmetic:

  1. 81 million popular votes > 74 million popular votes
  2. 306 electoral votes > 232 electoral votes
  3. 60+ state/Supreme Court challenges lost = too many frivolous lawsuits
  4. All of the above

Completed tests must be returned by midnight January 5, 2021, to receive extra credit. Participants will be notified of their scores on January 7, unless normal communications are disrupted by civil unrest, foreign or domestic terrorism, severe weather, Acts of God or circumstances beyond our control. This offer may be subject to additional regulations in the following states: AL, AK, AZ, AR, CA, CO, CT, DE, FL, GA, HI, ID, IL, IN, IA, KS, KY, LA, ME, MD, MA, MI, MN, MS, MO, MT, NE, NV, NH, NJ, NM, NY, NC, ND, OH, OK, OR, PA, RI, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, VT, VA, WA, WV, WI, and WY.

Thank you for your attention, and please watch for additional learning opportunities we will present in the future.

Best wishes,

The Electoral College

(Go Rural, Beat Cities!)
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Eric F. Frazier

Eric F. Frazier is an independent writer, editor, book reviewer and co-author of GPS Declassified: From Smart Bombs to Smartphones.